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Tuesday, August 3, 2004 / 7:00am

2540

fin

Monday, August 16, 2004 / 6:54pm

A Whole New World

It's Official... as of midnight, like, nineteen hours ago, I am officially unemployed. Well, since July 28th, obviously, a lot has happened, which include all the events leading up to my previous statement, plus a vacation. Sort of. Needless to say, I've been preoccupied about a lot of things. And, I've been behind on my Daily Records... now that that's taken care of as well, I'll start with what you've missed... but first, the letter sent out to a bunch of students.

Monday, August 16, 2004 / 6:58pm

Public Letter To Students

This was to a bunch of people, early Tuesday, August 3rd.

Dear Patron Services Staff, select KCSA and KCPA staff and students, and
friends or former associates thereof:

It is with a heavy heart that I share with all of you some news I heard a
mere, oh, almost 14.5 hours ago.  At a brief meeting, I was told that I was
not selected to be a final candidate in Krannert Center's search for a full-
time Patron Services Director.  As most of you know, I held my position
last year as a "visiting" director (translation: interim), as it was
handed to me when the last director suddenly left.  At the end of June, I
applied for my job, as, according to policy, a full fledged search must
take place for someone to hold my job for real; in essence I did not make
the final round.

So, my official term of office in the Patron Services Director position
runs through August 15.  Thanks to the joys of vacation days, my last
(weekday) work day will be this Thursday, August 5.  As far as the new
Patron Services Director is concerned, one has not been selected as of
yet.  Officially, the position is slated to begin on Monday, August 16th,
though I do not know if it will be done by then.  I hope that with this
sudden turn of events, your lives will not be made difficult and things
will continue to work as this transition takes place.

I want to let all of you know that I have greatly enjoyed my time here,
and hope that I've affected all of your lives in a positive manner.  Being
in Krannert with all of you surely was not a job.  It was an experience
I will never forget.  I find it very difficult to imagine that when I
first volunteered at Krannert as a freshman through KCSA, years before I
knew any of you, that I would end up where I am.  Sure, I've been "patron
driven" for forever and I enjoy making people's experience great (while
locking them out of the Studio if they're late), but (not just working but)
being with all of you and enriching it in however way I could has been one
of the most rewarding experiences I've had.  As you go through life, you
have your family.  In many ways, each of you comprise my closest family,
and I will miss each of you very much.

My wish is to not have an announcement to the Krannert staff (I desire to
have my appointment end without fanfare... much like a birthday, it's only
special if you remember!), but I do wish for all of you to pass this on to
any _students_ you believe I would want to know (and any former KCSAers
and FOHers, etc) that may not have received this (I'll have you know that
this is actually going to a lot of people, so odds are good they may have
it already).  Please respect this wish; thank you in advance.

Please keep in touch; I'll try to do the same.  If you need me for anything,
you can find me on AIM at KngMunchkn or email me at uhyeahwhatever@
sweetgoodness.org (or visit one of my lame websites... or google me).  (And,
there's thefacebook, orkut, friendster, whatever.) It's strange that this
happen on the day I was going to update the FOH email lists.  That'll happen
when I come into work in a few hours.

Thank you all for everything; you may not know it or think about it, but
you all have helped make your life and mine as wonderful as it was.

With warmest regards,
Brian
Future Former Visiting Patron Services Director

Monday, August 16, 2004 / 7:33pm

Interviewing for the Zoo

Uncertain for the future, and to guarantee that I had a place to live, Wdnesday, July 28th was the day I signed for a lease. I wasn't sure if I'd have a job, but I was fairly confident it would work out. In the week previous, my references were checked, and I had a preliminary phone interview to take place Friday morning. The residence of the future was actually kinda nice, and the landlord's pretty cool, too; dmking lives there and plans to continue to do so, as well. And, I would get to move in during the first week in August! How perfect! With my lease at 308 ending on August 8th and a pending vacation immediately following, it was like superawesome! I called Crystal at Krannert and said, "Guess what I just did! I spent $490 and I feel pretty good about it!" It was very settling to have a place all set up- not being homeless and all. All according to plan... and that plan had me coming into work during the evening for what I knew would be a zoo: a jazz performance with hundreds of kids coming to the party. Now, officially, I didn't have a theatre to be in charge of. Actually, before the madness, I was interviewing two people who wanted to work for me. Put through the crazy Brian process, they both did well, and I offered them jobs right away. They have since accepted, and I put their initial paperwork through... Dyson and Katie will join Patron Services as one of the few that survived the Brian interview, so they better be awesome! They left, I helped out at the zoo, and life went on, because we're awesome like that. The night ended with my "hanging out with the girls" at Legends. hmwilson is not drunk. Precious!

Monday, August 16, 2004 / 7:56pm

Nahthon Whoshoone, and the Other Three Debate

Thursday, July 29th: As Heather would put it, I was a slacker. I didn't get up until about 9:23am (KranStaff), and continued to lie around on IM until about 12:12pm. I did some work, lunched at Pizza Hut, and did work some more. The evening came around, and I had to discuss a few things with Misato, so I accompanied her to Za's. Random quote on the way:

"Why are there so many squirrels on this campus? Are they having sex like babies?"

Clearly, "babies" was to be replaced with "bunnies", but it was pretty funny nonetheless. Back to the events of the day, I went back to the Kran where Usher Supervisor Carolyn was left with minimal usher support, so I helped out, and then hung out with the staff and a very special former Assistant House Manager Nate. The crowd converged at Murphy's later in the evening, where I went after doing some shopping with Carolyn and getting some La Bamba. (I didn't eat any La Bamba the night previous following Girls' Night Out due to ridiculously long lines.) I arrived to see the crowd enjoying in free Bicardi crap goodness, including light-up pins which were worn in rather selectively chosen locations. (Not by me, geez.) I could insert another quote of the day here, but I'm sure I'd get beat up for including it. So, it was another late night.

"Think Michelle Branch, because I'm everywhere to you, yo. (And that's how elequent I'll express my doing tons of varying things before my projected return.)" -Brian Away Message titled "Everywhere"

While Pizza Hut was had, Heather made me aware of my wrongness, which she does very well:

1:53pm: so it's been awhile since i've fixed any of your mistakes, and i'm sure you've missed it, so here ya go:
A. the word is spelled "eloquent", not "elequent"
B. it should be "eloquently" since you're saying "how" something....yay for adverbs

that's all! and i'm sure you'll ignore all of the above, but whatever, at least i put my two cents in :-)

Ha. As of right now. This very minute. It's fixed. Ha.

Monday, August 16, 2004 / 8:25pm

Ring! Whatever I Feel Like I Wanna Do, Gosh!

Friday, July 30th: Weekday alarm goes off at 7:15pm, not that it matters to me, because I usually don't do mornings, but I'm awake enough to call Heather to make sure she gets to work on time at 8:00am. Of course, I fall back asleep. Over IM, to return the favor...

9:52am: rise and shine, sleepyhead!!!
9:53am: you have an interview to get ready for!!!
9:53am: even though it's over the phone...
9:57am: hello hello??
9:57am: i'm gonna keep making your computer make annoying noises until you prove that you're awake!!!

So, I prove my alertness and say something back, and then, moments later, the world spirals into freak-out mode. Instead of using the last fifty minutes for the phone interview starting my day, maybe going to Krannert, and thinking about how to answer two questions I was given in advance, I worry about something else: my cell phone's disappeared! Yes, the one the search committee will call to interview me. Yes, the one I used to call Heather three hours earlier. A worrysome fifteen minutes later, the phone is recovered; it fell off my bed whilst in slumber, into the far unreachable corners of the under-the-bed. Even after calling my phone, like, fifty billion times, it was very hard to track down in the first place. Good thing it wasn't on vibrate. The interview went better than expected... I was definintely myself. It's really weird to interview for a job you already have with a bunch of people you already know, yet try to maintain a sort of "let's be official; you don't already know me" sort of thing. I had to come up with a professional failure, and what I came up with was that I'm too into the work that I do. I'm dedicated. It's true. How was that a failure? It is a failure because I would spend a ridiculous number of days in a row maintaining everything that it wore on me, and it showed. To correct that, I mensioned that I started making myself take a day off when I knew I could, and it allowed me to return refreshed and recharged. So very true. But hey, life's crazy when your schedule is pretty much dictated by the performance and event schedule of the center. That night, Heather and I saw Napoleon Dynamite... I never thought I could laugh at a line requesting that Tina consume as fine a dinner as ham. Mmmm, that just sounds lovely right now, actually.

Monday, August 16, 2004 / 9:14pm

Turned Out To Be

I said it all weekend long... "this could be the last time you and I work together." Almost jokingly, actually, as if it were the case, something must be wrong in the world. Saturday the 31st was an all day marathon for me at the Kran. From some band camp to a theatre intern production to usher supervising the Studio, it was quite a day... I managed to sneak away for just a quick half hour, as my sister was swinging through town to make the final move-out. We went to dinner at McDonald's, and I ended up bring some food back for the staff. Heather gave me her happy meal toy- a beanie baby of sorts. Awww, precious! For some bizarre reason, it was decided that on the last performance night of the summer, Sunday the 1st, we would tie together all the Pixy Stix we ate one night into a long string or something. So, later that night, I stocked up on those sugary delights ("Just a stick full of sugar helps Krannert go down...") and some popsicles, and also took a moment to have my posterior photographed by a sign altered down to three letters from four. (I didn't do the alteration; Heather found it that way, and I said "wouldn't it be cool if...") Sunday, after spending the afternoon with Jack and Carolyn, it was a night of payroll and sugar... the four of us there ended up going through about one and a half bags of Pixy Stix (aka, a ridiculous number!) before heading out to Burger King for a late dinner, and my finishing my evening at Adam and Josh's to watch Pretty Woman. Lots of activity, most definitely. And so ended the summer, as far as performances were concerned.

Monday, August 16, 2004 / 9:39pm

Forshadowing; The Truth Is Out There

Let me start this like I started a few of these, way back in the older version of "news"... Just a day, just an ordinary day, trying to get things cleaned up after a summer of fun in Kranland. Having worked evenings in recent history, it isn't uncommon for me to make my first appearance at Kran later in the day, so, alas, the day begins with IMs, as early as 8am, as someone's Ferris Bueller-ing work. Onward to a Monday mini-conversation with Kellie (she's not required to be in a volcano on Mondays, apparently. =P)...

Kellie, 10:30am: are you moving things in?
Me: maybe later tonight.. i'm still in bed
Kellie: hahaha
Kellie, 10:31am: Bri, what if the rare chance that they are stupid and dont offer the job, are you going to look for something else around there?
Me: i guess i kinda have to.
Kellie, 10:32am: ok, just wondering what your plans would be
Kellie: but I think they would be stupid if they dont offer it
Me: a lot of people feel that way.

Well, I bring myself in to get some work done in the afternoon, taking time out of my day to explain why I would be happy to go on vacation to leave town and people for a while (not that I hate either, and that definitely should not be inferred- very much the opposite in some cases)... and worry some people by indicating that I explained this (I know, it doesn't make sense, but anyways)... and all was right and good for the most part until about thirteen past four. My availabilty was checked by email for some time to talk about the search. With no time like the present, I called down and said I was on my way. It was then that I discovered I was not selected as a finalist in the search for me. I took it professionally; didn't ask why; and gave thanks for all the time and consideration. Of course, after I left, I ran upstairs and hugged Jan, crying as I mumbled, "I'm not me." She was puzzled as to what was going on as I left for my office. Once there, I spread the unofficial official word to my friends in my office and the neighboring Ticket Office, after finding someone who wasn't idle or away on my buddy list that worked for me. That lucky person, Heather (I'm sorry!), got an IM saying "call the office.", and, after a few IMs of confusion in response, she did. In a very sad, teary way, I answered with a "Hello", to which she asked what's up. The tone of the conversation pretty much summed it up, without having to actually say it. In the Ticket Office, I sat in tears at Jenny's desk, sniffling away, before wandering the building telling a few people. Heather was up at the office when I returned, where we both cried. You know, earlier this summer, I didn't know if I wanted to do it... my job, that is. Actually going through and applying and living the life this summer made me realize that it was something I enjoyed... so, the turn of events and the finality of the situation was just weird. And, yes, very, very sad. Misato heard the news as well, and she came over. The three of us went out to Bennigan's for dinner on some random gift cards I had sitting in my wallet, where we were all sad together. It's kinda fitting, actually, to have had each of them there... unknowingly representing the two largest parts of my Krannert being, Patron Services and KCSA. I even officially ordered/bought my first drink! Ha, I didn't drink any of it, but boy, didn't that last sentence just scream "footnote! exception?"... anyways... the remainder of the night was spent calling the people I'd interviewed for a job at Krannert, just to let them know before I sent out the mass email. Unable to sleep and wanting to go for a walk at 2:30am, after sending the first email about this turn of events to the Patron Services staff, Heather joined me on a four hour walk around campus. I think we both just needed to just be, both having taken the news not so well. And, just after seven in the morning on August 3rd, the email sent to almost everyone else in the world went out, slightly revised from the one sent five hours earlier (leaving out specific details about what work will be like in the future). So ends a long day, and begins the end of an era.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004 / 12:28am

The Last Work Days

And so began the last minute rush of things to do.

Misato, Tue 8/3, 8:46am: Brian, that e-mail made me sad
Me: sorry
Misato, 8:48am: i'll just live in denial.... you're really not going anywhere. you're gonna stay here as long as i'm here
Misato: :-P

Tuesday, I started tying up loose ends after coming in to work at nine in the morning... that's right... and I was up all night. Actually, I crashed for an hour between 7:30 and 8:30 unintentionally, and made it to the 9:00 Marketing meeting. I tested the Kran building-wide PA for the last time at 10:00, coinciding with that first-Tuesday tornado siren test. After an attendance-related shortened Trivia Tuesday, I retreated back to the abode to frantically plan this vacation of mine I was theoretically having the following week. (I'd waited so long, because I figured my having a job or not would probably dictate how much I spent and where I went, much like how I put off signing a lease as long as I could.) At the end of the day, Las Vegas was decided, a hotel was booked, and plane tickets paid for. Well, Capital One paid for them, and I'll pay them back sometime. Skipping onward to Wednesday night, for some reason, I was the one that came up with having a Bar Crawl as an end of summer event... so it happened. White Horse, Murphy's, Legends... so, it's not that extensive of a crawl, but whatever. Some people had a drink at midnight to recognize my "last day"; atcually, kinda sad. And, the party started winding down earlier than I'd expected... I don't think it lasted until the 2am closing time. But, hey, good times were had, I'm sure. Thursday morning, I hauled myself over to my last Thu 9am KranStaff meeting, and ended up giving three tours that day! I gave a special tour to a potential future music doctoral student on a college visit; I gave the daily tour at three when no tour guide showed to give it; and I gave one last one, which I'll get to. I skipped a noon meeting to work on cleaning up some stuff and to have lunch in the Ticket Office (Thanks, Dean!), and ended the day in a "well, let's talk about what's going on/last chance to chill with Brian" meeting. I'd had one of these on Wednesday with some of the house managers and supervisors... this one on Thursday was for all of Patron Services and some KCSAers. We talked about how no one had been selected as of yet to be me, and we talked about what could be with respect to the future. Dessert coupons were given out as thanks for being there at that meeting; books about Krannert were given out. And, everyone got a Krannert Center bookmark. Well, everyone except Emily, Christina, and Diana- they got one already. "I gave these bookmarks out to the seniors when they were leaving, or I thought they were leaving back in May. Actually, Krannert bought them. Anyways, what everyone doesn't know is that I'd gotten a whole bunch of them. My vision was that I would attach one to each of your employee files, so that when you left, I would remember to give one to you. Well, I guess I'll just give them to you now." Just before this brief meeting adjourned, I was presented with some parting gifts... a box of tissues (in case I need it), a bag full of candy and chocolate (Pixy Stix! "Gee, this looks like all the stuff I bought for you guys throughout the year!"), and a photo album with an inscription- something I will definitely treasure forever:

Thanks for being...
...We'll miss your sweet goodness
We heart Brian!
-The girls of summer '04

And then there was the last order of business: I treated everyone to a crazy tour of Krannert visiting random staircases and rooms and dizzying heights (sorry, Heather!). I think it was a fitting way to end it all. I mean, I'm upset and sad about the whole thing, and don't necessarily heart the center right now, but I definitely care about everyone that worked for me and care about my friends (the two groups are not mutually exclusive), and so I felt this as the most appropriate end... to do something for them.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004 / 1:54am

"the list"

two at three (effective Wednesday, August 4, 2004)

Tuesday, August 17, 2004 / 2:04am

Sliders Between Madness

I had just the madness that was the job of Brian at Kranland, and with the time between Thursday and Sunday at noon, I had to devote myself to moving stuff from 813 #308 to 106N #2. Sure, it's only "one and a half blocks west northwest of now" but I have tons of crap. Of course I put off actually doing that one last time by going to watch the fine film Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle at the Harvest Moon Drive In in Gibson City. You go in, and you don't expect too much, and you get just a bit less than that, and you're disappointed. But, hey, what you're really there for is to see Neil Patrick Harris as himself in a movie that seems like "hmmm, let's do this, too... how would we connect these together?" Actually, it was alright. Definitely not Oscar-worthy, but I didn't feel like I'd wasted my time... I also had a craving for White Castle afterwards. Heather didn't want to drive an hour out of the way, and we both wanted to avoid the pack/move process, so we just hung out and talked into the morning hours. The following days, I was virtually unavailable as Mark, Denise, and I were consumed with the great move. Sunday, I celebrated the end of the ordeal with a Courier Cafe lunch and some mini-golf, then a late night Jimmy John dinner with Doug, and then, it was one quick night's sleep before vacation!

Tuesday, August 17, 2004 / 2:21am

What Stays In Vegas... Your Money

So much had happened in life in the past week that I hadn't actually figured out how to get to Chicago to catch my flight to Las Vegas. That Sunday night before (the 8th), I'd actually gone in to Kran at 10pm to do some last minute stuff and to research my travel options. There was no way I was going to buy sleeper car accomodations just to get to Chicago in time, so I decided to take a Greyhound bus instead. So, after waking up on Monday the 9th, I quickly packed and made it to downtown Champaign in time to buy a ticket for a 9:05am bus with about 20 minutes to spare. I had about an hour or so I figured I could waste in the downtown Chicago area, and I remembered my craving from four nights before, so I stopped by a hotel to scout out if there was a White Castle in the area. Unhelpful, Heather was text messaged for assistance, and she called back giving me a list of any White Castle in Chicago with an address number less than 1000 (since she's not familiar with the streets, I figured this would be an easier list for me to sift through). So, it turns out that there isn't one... oh well. (There was one just outside of the 1000 range, but it was on 79th, which is just too far away. Chicago really is like one big piece of graph paper (with Cartesian coordinates, ha!), you just have to know how the streets correspond to the numbers.) Onward to Midway via the Orange Line, and westward by Southwest Airlines. I met former KCSA Ushering Director/Vice President and longtime Brian friend Chris there in Vegas, and we hung out for four nights and days. Records indicate a loss of $105.77, which isn't too bad if you split that over the time I was there... we saw a magic show at Tropicana and walked the Strip on multiple occasions in 110-degree heat. We rode a bus, the monorail, visited Fremont Street (with the canopy light show and a stop at Binion's Horseshoe Casino where the World Series of Poker calls home) and ascended the Stratosphere Tower to floors 108-109. As a whole, it was fun, but I know I didn't have as good a time as I should have. Maybe it would have been the case if I didn't lose money. Or, really, I couldn't stop thinking about my future, job and otherwise, in the back of my mind. Way to ruin an experience, I know. But it really was fun, and I did enjoy myself. I returned to the Chicagoland area early Saturday morning and hung out with the family for the remainder of the weekend. I even lost a good amount of weight, despite all the buffets I ate at in Vegas. Actually, that's just because I got a haircut while at home. I hadn't had one in a long time, so my brain is less encumbered by the hair on top. Or something. I wonder how the pictures will turn out. Nothing like taking pictures of strangers dangling off the side of the Stratosphere Tower.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004 / 2:49am

"the list"

two: one at four; one at two (effective Wednesday, August 11, 2004)

Tuesday, August 17, 2004 / 3:04am

Boyz Sang About Yesterday

And I'll take, take with me the memories, to be the sunshine after the rain. It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday. Oh, Boyz II Men. Monday the 16th was a new day, and it's not because I had a real shower curtain in place for the morning restart. Yes, say hello to the newly unemployed. Not to say that I didn't do any work... I actually had a few loose ends that remained loose at Krannert, like finishing up someone's hiring paperwork and cleaning out my office (which is a freakin' huge task). So, anything I did today, I guess I did for free. I just wanted to make sure things were taken care of, at least in terms of the lives of the people that at one point I had some control over. That packing up thing was really sad, as the round one group of belongings included a bunch of my clothes, a bunch of toys, my DVD's, and my diploma. That space is looking less and less like that cluttered place everyone knew was Brian's home. Perhaps the biggest "thing" was packing while the meeting for this evening's event took place. After the staff left for places, I busted out into tears. There was an event going on, and I very much had nothing to do with it. It was very sad and upsetting, and I couldn't take being in the building. I gathered up what I could to bring home, and made my way down to level two to say goodbye to that night's staff, and every step I took toward the loading dock exit was sadder than the next. It was real. It was over. I'd hid myself for so long and remained professional while everyone was around, and now, for the first time in thirteen days, I actually had time to think about it. And it hit me. So much has happened that I didn't get to stop and get it out, aside from an initial half-hour when I found out. Since then, I was back to maintaining status quo, taking care of business and being there for everyone and everything else going on in life. I got as far as the sidewalk outside the loading dock door before I stopped. I couldn't go any further; it really was over. I took out my cell phone and called the attendant's break room, and asked Diane to bring some tissues out to the dock. After some consoling, I went back inside and sat down for a little bit while I got the rest of it out of me. It's tough. You know, I've moved to a new address every August for twelve years. I have my awesome family and I have my group of great friends that are near and dear to me and watch and experience things with me. And through all of that, I lived my life at Kran... eight years of it. Sometimes I like to think my dedication to Kran kept me from leaving on time. And, because of my extended eight-year college experience, I've met, affected, and been affected by four additional classes of people I never would have interacted with. I complained, but it was a great time, thanks to the people that immediately surrounded me. It's that family I'll miss. I'll miss being easily surrounded by that. I'll miss using my expereince, knowledge, and creativity to entertain, inspire, motivate, and accomplish whatever in all the random ways I did, oftentimes on a whim, in an environment that allowed me to do so (at least during the hours when I could). If only I really didn't give my heart and soul to the job; then it wouldn't be that bad. Of course, that wasn't the case. There are still some things I need to do and some (okay, a lot) of stuff I still need to move out of there. Life does go on, I guess. And, yeah... suck is life. I mean, such is life. It is comforting, though, when it is apparent that a freakin' boatload of people are upset at the turn of events, but, well, it won't change anything. And, I am very grateful for all of the well-wishers out there that sent me very kind notes or hung out with me in the time of Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. Shakedown 1979, cool kids never had the time. People usually don't know when they touch people's lives, and I'm blessed to have actually seen it. Thanks, you guys... thank you all. Bear with me as I go through this "life expereince," and thank for all for being. It matters to me, even if my being doesn't matter anymore other there.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004 / 4:02am

Much Lighter, More Precious Notes

So, I stalked this off of a random person's away message (thank you, thefacebook), and in trying to determine its true source, it turns out it shows up in fifty billion people's web pages. I'm pretty sure it gets shuffled around the internet in one of those forwards I ignore, and I don't read enough online journals or whatever to have encountered it (or at least cared to realize I'd encountered it). So, I'll post it because I thought it was precious.

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said... no / She asked him if he would want to be with her forever... and he said no / She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry? and once again he replied with a no / She had heard enough / As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said... you're not pretty, you're beautiful. I don't want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever, and I wouldn't cry if you walked away... I'd die

Yeah, there's that romantic dork in me. I mean, hopeless romantic. But speaking of precious, I was at Treasure Island in Las Vegas in this massive crowd waiting to see the pirate show outside the hotel (Sirens of Treasure Island... answer their call!... doesn't necessarily sound very kid friendly but whatever). There were some kids behind me while Chris and I were waiting.

Brian: Hey, Chris... a kid behind me just sneezed on me.
Chris: Awww, how precious!

On Sunday, I tried my hardest to begin the difficult process of forgetting about ih. Of course, it's quite difficult considering what it takes to even be there in the first place. Yeah, life sucks sometimes, especially when it's out of your control and other parties are quite content with the way it is. In other news, in one night I've caught up the world of news with everything that was missed, one day after totally catching up on DR's. Maybe I can now start sleeping at sane hours again. And I have my nights and weekends free... whoa. Maybe I'll bring back the old schedule reservation system and keep an online copy up-to-date. Eh, visions that may be a reality someday; probably temporarily but hopefully not.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004 / 10:47am

"the list"

one at three

Wednesday, August 18, 2004 / 1:37pm

Find Those Positives

Well, in light of the whole situation, I think I'm doing well. Monday night was pretty bad- I did lots of writing, as evidenced. I got a lot out... and I felt like I should be doing something. So I did. Yesterday, I woke up refreshed, and today the same, actually. Things are seeming much more normal and settled, now that moving is done (though I'm quite in the packed stage, right now). Trivia Tuesday came and went, plus the reading of the "Flavor of the Day"... to be doing things and hanging out with people has been quite a positive experience. And, on that note, I guess I'm currently available for schedule reservations for any hour. Take advantage of it now, while my days and nights are remarkably free! I've also found some positive things, too, like hearing from friends I haven't had much contact with, if any in recent history. And, how could I forget that I now have my nights and weekends free! My non-Kran friends that have been in town as long as I have (since we were all in school here at the same time, and they've since found jobs somewhere here) haven't really seen me much in the last few years because I was always at work! How novel a concept... time to do things. Coming out of the world where the work was my life, and the coworkers were my friends, it'll be tough to not be around them so much. Hopefully, the really close friendships I have because of Kran remain as such. I've been thinking about all the the things I could do now, from possibly grad school, suck jobs, cool jobs, MTV VJ, something at UIUC, breathing, that it's like I just got out of school, with no clue. Something will happen, don't worry about it. Or, you can start worrying when I do. I should be able to make it through at least late September with magic Brian money management. In the mean time, when I figure out a good answer to the question about "Now, what will you do?", I'll let you know and assume I'm still working on it. Now, off to Pizza Hut, or more likely, Murphy's... it is Wednesday, after all.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004 / 6:49pm

Inner Voice From Beyond

Just as I leave my apartment to do whatever it is I do, and just after I say something on news asking people to not ask me what I'm doing, do I receive a Las Vegas postcard from myself. It says:

08/13/2004: Now that you've blown your money, what will you do? What a fine 25th birthday you'll have.

Oh, Brian... (it's okay, go ahead and say it... I can picture it right now.)

Thursday, August 19, 2004 / 6:38pm

I Can't Believe It's Not Bitter

Originally, I was going to name this "Mmmm! Potatos With Bitter on the Side"... anyways, as reported, the past two days have been good. Last night, I hung out with Cornie and L. Grace, the Cubs won in extras, and the Cards didn't have a comeback. This morning, thanks to Emily, I discovered I wasn't receiving any Krannert email. Being taken off of the Krannert staff lists, I understand, but I wasn't receiving any Patron Services emails, either. That totally doesn't help me in my attempt to keep my superawesome Patron Services staff and KCSA folks in the loop. I was removed before an announcement was made to Kran in general about who the new me will be. Well, suck is life. When you start working somewhere, some things just take forever. When you don't work, you're as good as gone, I guess. Today was much more productive in terms of those loose ends, though I still have some boxfuls to remove. I'm looking forward to when people are back and things are settled, because I'm missing having people around and available. So, yeah, I was thinking... (because it makes me feel better...) it's not that I'm not good enough for Krannert (despite not making the final round), maybe Krannert's not good enough for me. Because when it came down to it, I kicked booty at keeping my department and overall Patron Services there running, even without any real documentation. And I can't be ashamed of that. Boo. Yah.

Friday, August 20, 2004 / 12:47pm

The Retirement of Memories

Once again, it turns out that I have a ridiculous number of away messages saved, and I need to clean some of them out, for they have outlived their usefulness. That, or they were memorable one-time things and I just wanted to archive them sometime. Actually, I just made yet another away message, and I have so many now, that it takes too much mouse coordination and effort to get to my "I'm showering" one. So, here are some of them, in the order they used to appear in in my menu:

"06/09/2004"
Cubs. Cards. Me... in High Definition on ESPN. Boo. Yah.

"06/12/2004"
Krannert to hand out programs; Legends for a birthday. Join me, or at least call me. But not while I do the show (in that case, call the office).

"06/13/2004"
Cubs at Cardinals; Tuesday 6/22. IM me now (or by the time I wake up tomorrow) if you're in.

Happy Birthday, Heather!

"06/18/2004"
The last thing I want to do is make people sad or cry... sorry, Jenn, I'm out of town. No Highdive for me, and none of me in Champaign County at all this weekend. Call me on el cell; I'm in Chicagoland. And, happy respective birthdays (official or observed)!

"06/21/2004"
Maybe tomorrow morning, I'll win Mix 94.5's "Battle of the Sexes".

Stupid heart. Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

I am extraordinary if you ever get to know me.

"06/22/2004"
What, the Cardinals? Oh, well, they're a great team and all, and I respect them... but they're still going to lose to the Cubs in front of my eyes tonight at the game.

"06/25/2004"
I've run away to reconnect with the past.

"06/30/2004"
Today is the day. Everything I've done. Everything you've done. Everything we haven't done. It's all a factor, and something's gotta happen. Or not. Sorry, I'm not ideal and I make you think. I have to think, too. And do what's best. For me.

"07/03/2004"
I express my distaste for FOX's inability to show me that nothing's going on during Chicago's rain delay. BOO!

"07/04/2004"
I left the apartment. Maybe I'm actually having fun. With people today. Or not. Whatever... call the cell phone this very fine fourth.

"07/05/2004"
watching the cubs win on channel 18 and the cards lose on channel 12

"07/07/2004"
Cubs lost, Cards won... I'm in the other room watching last night's Amazing Race dwelling on the unrelated while I'm sure Heather and Jenn are dancing in the streets.

"07/16/2004"
where else could you find Chad, Hillary, Heather, and I at the same place?

"07/17/2004"
Uh, I guess I've been invited to go "hang out with the girls." So, I guess I'll go "hang out with the girls." Silly coin flip.

"07/18/2004"
"[your screen name here] is the world's best driver ever!"

"07/19/2004"
6:something... play some Sorry
7:15... meet at Kran
7:30... depart for I, Robot drive-in

you all should be there/$5

"08/02/2004 Not Me"
I'm not me. Don't cry for me Krannert Center. Cry for yourself.

"08/03/2004"
I'm pissy, unemployed, frustrated, worried about packing and moving in magically no time, and working with one hour of sleep. Make it good, punks!

"08/04/2004"
Today's schedule:
Krannert 10am-6pm; Bar Crawl 6pm-2am (White Horse 6p, Murphy's 8p, Legends 10p); Move out of apartment 3am-5am

Thursday Schedule:
Krannert 9am-6pm, Drive In (...White Castle) 6:45-12m, Move Out of Apartment 1am-?

Friday Schedule: Move Out

Please join me for all activities; and drink a drink for me in honor of my last day at 12 midnight Wednesday night/Thursday morning!

"08/06/2004 a"
Current: Pizza Hut for lunch; Krannert to get a cart and my lovely parting gifts (thanks, all my girls of Summer 2004!)

"08/06/2004 b"
walking mike ross and sorry to the new apartment; snack with doug... cell it to me baby uh huh

"08/15/2004"
I'm really here, back from Vegas, and looking for someone or something to brighten my spirit. IM or call me, or something. Thanks.

"Graduation"
Krannert and Commencements OWN MY SOUL! Guess where I am... odds are, you're probably right.

"Grrr - 06/04/2004"
Me (2:09am): I am no longer grrr.
Engy (2:10am): ok good
Me: I went out for about 2 and a half hours with a friend.
Me: and right before I left, I dropped my pager in a hard-to-reach place
Engy: aww
Me: and while I was getting it, I moved it to an even harder to get to place.
Me (2:11am): and I dropped my cell phone to the hard to get to place.
Me: and the antenna fell off and I couldn't find it
Me: all while my friend was waiting. so, that's what grrrr was about.

"Kran - Soul"
Krannert owns my soul.

"Kran"
Get this. I am not here. I am most likely going to Krannert sometime. Whatever.

If you try, you can find me. Reachable by cell phone, FOH phone, or send an email. Or, if desparate, see if MrSweetGoodness is online and send a message there. Because you never know if my AIM will crash and your message will be lost in a black hole of system failures!

"Stupid Lyrics"
Stupid heart. Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?

I am extraordinary if you ever get to know me.

Not because I hang with Leonardo
Or that guy who played in "Fargo"
I think his name is Steve

"Vegas Plan"
The Las Vegas trip is SERIOUSLY under consideration. Aug 9-13. More updates forthcoming, but initial estimates are $200 hotel per person for all 4 nights; find your own way to town (the hotel's got to provide a shuttle!)...